"You know, at first I wasn’t on board with this whole ordeal. I mean, we all know how these sorts of elaborate citywide takeovers usually end, over and over again. But once he described what he had in mind for my part, and once I was outside? Well, honestly I felt like... celebrating!"

Julian Day looks out at the sea of parishioners he’s handcuffed to tables with a thin smile and idly spins a bingo cage with his gun’s muzzle. "It’s funny. I never gave much thought to just how many saints there are. There really is something to celebrate every day!" He cocks the pistol...