The Gymnasium

The room is mostly empty save for a few abandoned kettlebells and towels relegated to rags, but a printed bracket on a corkboard in the back catches your eye. You've heard some of the supervillains of Gotham frequently organize tournaments to recruit top-notch henchmen (since the Batman keeps catching the previous ones) and determine the hired help's going rates. It seems like the Riddler attended one recently... and he wants you to know.

Gotham's Next Top Henchman

Good help doesn't come cheap... but mediocre help does if you offer the right price!

Five Criteria

  1. They should come from a hard-scrabble upbringing and be eager to win against all odds.
  2. They should be serious about seeking their fortune after taking stock of themselves.
  3. They should have a vibrant tone to help them stand out in Gotham’s colorful milieu.
  4. They should treat their contract as a solemn avowal, and keep all their thoughts in order.
  5. They should trust their fellow cronies like family... but accept that they’re all replaceable.

It was a very routine affair; fully standard 32-person seeded bracket. There weren't any Cinderella stories or big upsets, either. And here's who I picked up when it was all said and done:

29, 7, 30, 3, 13, 32, 15, 28

4. Cassandra "Counterspin" Kimball
6. Isaiah "Bully" Masterson
8. Jim "Nighthawk" Johnstons
10. Diana "All Star" Hildegard
12. Maxine "Original Gangster" Abramson
14. Herbie "Rockstar" Biggles
16. Vincent "Vacuum" Vacuzzio
20. Brock "Jazz Hands" Bonn
22. Chloe "Cruel" Willoughby
24. Yancey "Fancy" Fauntleroy
26. Timothy "Recruiter" Loblaw

Ali "Kamikaze Attack" Madison
Cammy "Daredevil" Willoughby
Crystal "Autopilot" Willoughby
Dave "Pistol" Zulinsky
Ed "Grumpy" Gussleys
Franklyn "Foxy" Xenakis
Fred "Magic" Lovett
Gregory "Drop Dead" Yorkshire
Kaspar "Mastermind" Igoruvych
Lauren "Matrix" Nichols
Olivia "Outlaw" Bishop
Ozzy "Deep Freeze" Leonard
Patrick "Lights Out" Tuckers
Paul "Yellow Pages" Lister
Quentin "Needles" Acker
Rachel "Trickshot" Xu
Scott "Scuzzball" Scully
Timur "Mockingbird" Igoruvych
Ursula "Ninja" Perez
Wolfgang "Wide Variety" Verhoeven
Xerxes "Pharaoh" Sadeghi